The pervasive use of technology by children has left the family vulnerable to loss of privacy and threatens the very fabric of meaningful family communication and connection. Technology is a powerful tool that must be carefully and thoughtfully harnessed in order to prevent its seductive power from dominating family life.
Cell phones, TV, video games, computers, the Internet, tablets, MP3 players, digital cameras, have become ever present tools in our daily life. They allow us to structure and dramatically filter the data that reaches our brain and influences our mind. As parents we want to influence the development of our children’s minds by fostering experiences that are growth promoting, appropriate, sufficiently challenging, and diverse. The formative years ( Ages 6-12 ) are times for a sampling of life’s experiential buffet. The primary danger of technology for children is that it restricts their direct experience with their physical/social environment and creates an unrelenting expectation that the mind needs continual electronic data that is attractively packaged in order to feel engaged. Vicarious, packaged entertainment and even learning can leave little patience for quiet reflection, incidental socialization, imaginative play, and reading. The extremely engaging packaging of electronic media has its own structure and imagination and it easily can dwarf and overwhelm the child’s budding initiative to develop his or her own discipline and creativity. Exposure and involvement with technology needs to be carefully harnessed by parents so that children use technology as enrichment and do not substitute it for life experience. A particularly seductive dynamic that can easily occur with access to the Internet is an erosion of parental authority. Because answers to almost any concrete question are available with a few keystrokes, children can easily be left with the impression that their access to this knowledge makes them feel mature and sophisticated. When paired with the child’s ability to feel “connected” to so many peers and others, they can also begin to feel as if they are quite socially involved and may not need to feel as connected to parents. When parents are significantly involved with electronic media or interrupt their family interactions to respond to electronic requests for attention ( i.e. phone and text ), children experience what parents believe is the priority in the family. Children begin to drift away from the dinner table, avoid casual interactions with family members, and seek out the instant engagement of the tablet, computer, or phone. As parents your role becomes marginalized. By middle school you can easily become the servants to your overly indulged children as your children come to rely on social media, instant information access, and unrelenting entertainment access as “superior” replacements for family interactions and meaningful respect for parents. The ability to use the tools of technology is critical for all children to develop in our society, but parents who wish to maintain meaningful relationships with their children into the teenage years must actively manage how technology is integrated into the everyday life of the family.
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