Summers and Children:
Children need opportunities to explore activities and experiences that engage their minds, bodies, and emotions in order to help them feel meaningfully connected to the world we share with them. During the school year, our children’s lives are appropriately organized around the demands of that reality and all other interests and activities must be adjusted. It is during the summer that children have the psychological and emotional space to expand their world to experiences that otherwise would not be possible. Summer should not be about relaxation for children—it should be about engagement and exploration...
Children need opportunities to explore activities and experiences that engage their minds, bodies, and emotions in order to help them feel meaningfully connected to the world we share with them. During the school year, our children’s lives are appropriately organized around the demands of that reality and all other interests and activities must be adjusted. It is during the summer that children have the psychological and emotional space to expand their world to experiences that otherwise would not be possible. Summer should not be about relaxation for children—it should be about engagement and exploration...
One of the basic requirements of childhood is the capacity to pursue an area of a special interest and be able to manage the inherent frustration of trying to master the challenges of that pursuit. As parents you have the responsibility of guiding your children’s summer schedule and cultivating a daily and weekly rhythm that can capture your child’s imagination while helping him/her learn about his/her interests in our shared world.
During the preschool years, your child’s experience of summer is primarily going to be based on how you as parents manage your summer experience. It is in your child’s interest (as well as your own) that summers are punctuated by family “adventures.” The adventures can range from a family picnic in the park with friends or extended family, to a day at the beach, to a trip to the zoo, to strawberry picking, to weekend camping, to a family trip. The important element of the adventures is the meaningfulness of the experience to you as parents and your commitment to wanting to share that meaning and joy with your child. Those experiences then become the background for your child’s desire to step into their own adventures as they become older. So, children who have loved going to the beach may want to become lifeguards as teens. Children who have loved camping may pursue Scouting. It is during preschool summers that you are sensitizing your child to appreciate what life has to offer that can bring joy and satisfaction.
The school age child (6-10) is now ready to have experiences away from the family in order to help them feel engaged successfully in the world. During summer, the child can explore in more depth the rich complexity of interactions with peers while pursuing body/mind enrichment activities. Although summer camp (both day and overnight) does afford the kind of opportunities being referred to, it is certainly possible to construct a summer with the necessary ingredients as parents if you have the desire and discipline. It is more enjoyable and doable if you are able to collaborate with one or two other families and create a weekly schedule that allows for cooperative experiences. Your child then benefits from the need to get along with different adults and other children while pursuing age-appropriate activities. You benefit by having more time and space and most importantly by being able to share the experience of parenting with other parents.
The preteen (11-13) child needs increased opportunity to be with other preteens—especially of the same gender. The preteen has significant normative anxiety about their bodies and independence, and without appropriate opportunities to explore those challenges, they are likely to be unhappy, demanding, and even unkind. More than at any other time, the preteen needs to be with his/her peers with appropriate levels of supervision. It is more difficult as parents to organize the summers on your own with age group unless you have a well-established summer schedule and routine with others from the past. This age group is best engaged during the summer by camps and organized peer group experiences. Physical activity is especially important as the developing body needs to be appreciated for what it is able to do when challenged. Meeting challenges and experiencing mastery and failure while in the company of peers is the critical paradigm for the preteen.
The teenager (14-17) needs to begin to partner with you as parents in helping to shape the structure for their summer. At this point, the teenage child should have some beginning awareness of the direction of his/her special interests and summer is the time to follow those beginning passions. Whether in sports, music, art, theater, work, or academics, the summer provides a unique opportunity for teenagers to gain authentic experiences with their potentially life-enhancing passions. Teenagers vary enormously in how much structure and support they need from you as parents. You will need to lead the process. Having a summer to “relax” from the stress of the school year is not an acceptable option. Summer for children and youth should not be about relaxation—it needs to be about enrichment and engagement.
During the preschool years, your child’s experience of summer is primarily going to be based on how you as parents manage your summer experience. It is in your child’s interest (as well as your own) that summers are punctuated by family “adventures.” The adventures can range from a family picnic in the park with friends or extended family, to a day at the beach, to a trip to the zoo, to strawberry picking, to weekend camping, to a family trip. The important element of the adventures is the meaningfulness of the experience to you as parents and your commitment to wanting to share that meaning and joy with your child. Those experiences then become the background for your child’s desire to step into their own adventures as they become older. So, children who have loved going to the beach may want to become lifeguards as teens. Children who have loved camping may pursue Scouting. It is during preschool summers that you are sensitizing your child to appreciate what life has to offer that can bring joy and satisfaction.
The school age child (6-10) is now ready to have experiences away from the family in order to help them feel engaged successfully in the world. During summer, the child can explore in more depth the rich complexity of interactions with peers while pursuing body/mind enrichment activities. Although summer camp (both day and overnight) does afford the kind of opportunities being referred to, it is certainly possible to construct a summer with the necessary ingredients as parents if you have the desire and discipline. It is more enjoyable and doable if you are able to collaborate with one or two other families and create a weekly schedule that allows for cooperative experiences. Your child then benefits from the need to get along with different adults and other children while pursuing age-appropriate activities. You benefit by having more time and space and most importantly by being able to share the experience of parenting with other parents.
The preteen (11-13) child needs increased opportunity to be with other preteens—especially of the same gender. The preteen has significant normative anxiety about their bodies and independence, and without appropriate opportunities to explore those challenges, they are likely to be unhappy, demanding, and even unkind. More than at any other time, the preteen needs to be with his/her peers with appropriate levels of supervision. It is more difficult as parents to organize the summers on your own with age group unless you have a well-established summer schedule and routine with others from the past. This age group is best engaged during the summer by camps and organized peer group experiences. Physical activity is especially important as the developing body needs to be appreciated for what it is able to do when challenged. Meeting challenges and experiencing mastery and failure while in the company of peers is the critical paradigm for the preteen.
The teenager (14-17) needs to begin to partner with you as parents in helping to shape the structure for their summer. At this point, the teenage child should have some beginning awareness of the direction of his/her special interests and summer is the time to follow those beginning passions. Whether in sports, music, art, theater, work, or academics, the summer provides a unique opportunity for teenagers to gain authentic experiences with their potentially life-enhancing passions. Teenagers vary enormously in how much structure and support they need from you as parents. You will need to lead the process. Having a summer to “relax” from the stress of the school year is not an acceptable option. Summer for children and youth should not be about relaxation—it needs to be about enrichment and engagement.